


Through A Mirror Darkly

by Chessala



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternative Universe - Mirror Worlds, Angst, Blood Magic, Dark Fantasy, Dreams and Nightmares, First Meetings, M/M, Magic, Mutual Pining, Sacrifices, Separated by a wall, Slow Burn, crossing worlds, full moon nights, monthly meetings, reflections, tags will update as we go along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2018-10-07 05:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10353276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chessala/pseuds/Chessala
Summary: And so he made himself comfortable and signaled Viktor to do the same. He smiled at his new acquaintance, who seemed to relax at Yuuri’s expression.“So Viktor, tell me about you….it’s not fair that you know me and I don’t know anything about you…”Viktor smiled and got a bit more comfortable himself. He stretched out his hand to press it against the cool surface of the mirror again before asking Yuuri silently to do the same. When Yuuri placed his hand over Viktor’s, the other boy started talking in a soft voice laced with sadness.“Once a month, when there is a full moon, I can look into your world…..”~~~~~~~~~~~~~When Yuuri found a mirror in the hot springs storage room, he certainly didn't expect to meet a boy called Viktor through it. What he expected even less was the way in which this meeting would twist his life in the future.





	1. Behind Closed Doors

**Author's Note:**

> I really like dark mirror AUs where the characters can meet but not touch! I'm actually not sure how I cam up with this one but the idea has been dancing in my head for a while now so I hope you will enjoy it. 
> 
> It doesn't start particularly dark but will get more angsty later on. However, I am planning a happy end for this so no matter how much they hurt, they will (probably) be happy in the end!
> 
> The title is inspired by a quest name from the game "Dungeons&Dragons Online" where you have to cross through a mirror to access different worlds in the same dungeon \o/.
> 
> You can hit me up on [tumblr](http://chessala.tumblr.com) if you have any questions or simply leave a comment!
> 
>  
> 
> **Not Beta-ed**
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

_Yuuri could still remember the exact day when it had happened for the first time. He had just turned 13 the previous month and his life had turned significantly busier afterwards. He had come home from his usual training at Ice Castle Hasetsu and had felt especially tired that day, having trained on his jumps ever since school had ended. He had been about to go into the hot springs to relax when his sister, Mari, asked him to fetch some supplies from the old storage room behind the unused banquet hall._

_“Do I have to?” Yuuri had sighed “I just came back and I’m all sweaty.”_

_Mari had rolled her eyes at him while putting her hands on her hips._

_“At least like that you won’t have to get all sweaty after washing.”_

_Yuuri sighed and pleaded to just be left alone but his sister insisted that he helped at least a little every now and then. Knowing her resolve, Yuuri eventually gave in. It was true that he didn’t get to help a lot due to school and ice skating training afterwards so how had he been supposed to argue against her?_

_Making up his way to the banquet hall, he grumbled to himself while he dragged his feet. Despite not being used, the banquet hall had been kept clean in case there was a sudden need for it. The storage room, however, wasn’t in such a great state. It had been stuffed with boxes and random furniture that his family wasn’t sure what to do with._

_Yuuri had been rummaging through some of the boxes to find the items Mari had asked him for when he spotted the mirror in the corner of the room. It shouldn’t have been odd to see a large standing mirror in a storage room, seriously, but there was something about it standing there that had made Yuuri stop in his tracks to approach it._

_The mirror had the shape of a large rectangle and was framed in elegant brown wood. Small carvings were framing the sides and each of the four corners had an eloquent wood pattern run over the reflecting surface, as if separating part of it from the rest of it._

_Yuuri stepped closer to the mirror and looked at it with a strange feeling welling up in his stomach. It didn’t look old exactly but he couldn’t remember ever having seen it anywhere in the house before. As if in trance, he ran his fingers over the carvings, feeling the patterns against his fingertips. When he reached one of the corners, he suddenly felt a stinging in his finger and a small drop of blood fell from his hand down to the middle of the mirror. He cursed and had just been about to clean away the drop with the sleeve of his shirt when he saw the surface of the mirror rippling and the drop of blood disappearing in it._

_Yuuri rubbed his eyes and blinked but the blood was still missing. He looked at his finger but the cut he had felt only moments ago had disappeared as well. He stepped back from the mirror as the uneasy feeling in his stomach got even worse. He grabbed the items for his sister and darted out of the room, slamming the sliding door closed behind him with a loud ‘thud’._

_After going into the hot springs and having dinner, Yuuri had almost forgotten about the strange incident. He sat in his room, fretting over his homework when he felt like a voice was calling him. He opened the door to his room, wondering if his sister was in front of it trying to prank him. But the hallway was a long stretch of darkness and emptiness in front of him, the only light coming from the full moon that was shining through the windows._

_Yuuri was about to go back into his room when his eyes caught the half-open door to the banquet hall, which was right next to his bedroom. He sighed and stepped out of his room, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He remembered closing the door but maybe it had opened again from the force of the impact. Sighing again, Yuuri stepped closer to the door to close it but instead of doing so, he felt compelled to enter the banquet hall and go to the storage room behind it._

_He stared at the door for what felt like an eternity before he reached out and opened it quietly. The only sound Yuuri heard was the rush of blood in his ears and the frantic pounding of his own heart. No voiced called his name again and yet he found his eyes wandering to the mirror almost immediately. He took one step and stopped in his tracks as his stomach turned and he remembered the blood that had miraculously disappeared earlier that day. He swallowed dryly and took another step and then another, until he was in front of the mirror again._

_It was spotless, just like before, and his own reflection glared back at him as if it tried to mock him for being a coward. Yuuri felt the tension disappearing from his body as his reflection mimicked every move he did. It was almost comical how he had thought something else would happen. What had he expected? It was just a mirror after all. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, laughing to himself._

_When he opened his eyes again, the sound died in his throat as a pair of blue eyes stared at him from inside the mirror in. He yelped and jumped backwards, his blue-framed falling to the floor as he pressed against the wall furthest away. The person looking back at him now couldn’t have been any more different from Yuuri himself._

_Instead of his messy mob of black hair, the person, boy really, sported a silver mane that reached below his hip. His skin was pale and his eyes, the eyes that Yuuri had noticed first, had the most intense blue he had ever seen. They reminded Yuuri of the sea after a storm and he found himself staring at them more than anything else._

_The boy gave him a dazzling smile and waved in excitement. He was dressed in a simple white shirt that seemed to be missing some buttons on the top. His pants were also white and if it hadn’t been for his eyes, Yuuri would have wondered if he had lost all colors somewhere._

_Yuuri looked around himself, wondering if something could have caused his image in the mirror to be distorted but when he looked back, the boy was still smiling and waving at him. He picked up his glasses and got back to his feet. For the first time, he paid attention to the room behind the boy but all he could see what the storage room and door to the banquet hall reflected from behind him. Yuuri stepped closer, feeling drawn to the image in the mirror that should be his but definitely wasn’t._

_“W-who are you?” he stammered, his voice sounding thin even to himself. As if he was afraid that talking too loud would break the spell and make the boy disappear. “What do you want?”_

_The boy just smiled at him and pressed his right hand against the mirror. He pointed to Yuuri and then to his own hand, his hair rippling slightly when he tilted his head. Yuuri blinked and looked at his hand when he felt a familiar sting again. It was small but the cut that had disappeared in the afternoon was back and small droplets of blood had started to gather around it._

_Yuuri looked at the boy, who he guessed he was a little bit older than Yuuri himself, and slowly moved his injured hand towards the mirror. He hesitated a moment but then pressed his hand against the cool surface, matching the spot where the boy in the mirror had placed his own hand._

_Yuuri could never put in words what happened next. He felt a surge rush through his body and even though he tried, he was unable to move his hand away. It wasn’t painful but it left him with a horribly empty and longing feeling that threatened to devour his soul. The boy inside the mirror kept smiling at him and Yuuri could hear the same soft voice that he thought he had imagined when he had been in his room. A voice that was soft and so very lonely at the same time it made tears sting in Yuuri’s eyes. He wanted to reach out and let whoever owned this voice know that they weren’t alone anymore. He blinked and the tears streamed down his face before he could stop them and all the while, the boy kept his hand pressed to the mirror and smiled with so much relief that all Yuuri wanted to do was pull him into a hug._

_Slowly but surely, the surge that rooted Yuuri to the spot got weaker and when he could finally move again, he sank to the floor. The boy mimicked his movement and sank to his knees, pressing his hand even further against the inside of the mirror, as if he was trying to reach out. Yuuri felt his chest clench at the image and managed a small smile that seemed to relax the pale boy a little._

_“Are you alright, Yuuri?” the voice in his head asked. Just that now it wasn’t in his head anymore but it came from the boy in the mirror, his beautiful blue eyes clouded with worry._

_Yuuri nodded and swallowed dryly. The voice was just as soft as before but it had lost, or was hiding, the sad edge that he had noticed earlier. The pale moonlight had dipped the storage room into an almost unreal light and Yuuri wondered for a brief moment if he had just fallen asleep on his table. He pinched himself and winced at the pain._

_“That must have hurt….” He heard the boy say, something like amusement now playing in his voice._

_Yuuri still wasn’t sure what he should do. A part of him thought that he must have gone crazy but another part of him, the one that loved to get lost in a fantasy book or a game, hoped that he wasn’t. He couldn’t remember having read a book with a similar story so it was unlikely he was making this up. He looked up and met the boy’s eyes, holding his breath at the intensity of the gaze. He took a deep breath, hoping that his voice sounded steadier than it felt._

_“Who are you?”_

_“Viktor” the boy answered. “My name is Viktor and I have wanted to meet you for the longest time, Yuuri”_

_Viktor. The name made Yuuri’s stomach churn in a way that was way more pleasant than what he had felt earlier._

_“Meet me? But…I don’t know you?” Yuuri managed to say. His head was still reeling with the absurdity of the situation he had suddenly found himself in._

_Viktor laughed, a deep and gentle sound that made Yuuri’s heart skip a beat upon hearing it._

_“No, but I know you….I’ve been watching you…” a small flush appeared on Viktor’s face as he continued “…I was hoping you would find me one day….”_

_Yuuri took in the blush on Viktor’s face and how the other boy was now fiddling with his fingers, obviously embarrassed at the confession he had just made. It still didn’t make much sense to Yuuri but there was something about Viktor that made him want to know more. Why was he in the mirror? Why hadn’t he made himself known to Yuuri before? How old was he? Did he have to eat? Was it dangerous where he is? Where exactly was he? Yuuri’s head was full of questions that just waited to tumble off his tongue. And so he made himself comfortable and signaled Viktor to do the same. He smiled at his new acquaintance, who seemed to relax at Yuuri’s expression._

_“So Viktor, tell me about you….it’s not fair that you know me and I don’t know anything about you…”_

_Viktor smiled and got a bit more comfortable himself. He stretched out his hand to press it against the cool surface of the mirror again before asking Yuuri silently to do the same. When Yuuri placed his hand over Viktor’s, the other boy started talking in a soft voice laced with sadness._

_“Once a month, when there is a full moon, I can look into your world…..”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, are you even listening to me?”

Yuuri blinked and looked up, feeling the familiar flush of a blush tinting his cheeks pink. Yuuko was sitting opposite him, tapping her index finger impatiently as she waited for the answer to a question that Yuuri had not heard.

“I-I’m sorry Yuu-chan, I think I spaced out….”

The young woman rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair.

“As every month around full moon. One of these days I would really like to know what it is with you and full moons” she said with an exasperated sigh “I was asking about your birthday. We won’t let you get away without a party this year, you know that. You’re turning 18, we have to celebrate that!”

Yuuri sighed at the reminder. Yuuko and Takeshi had been asking about his birthday for weeks now but Yuuri hadn’t managed to get excited about it just yet. He had never cared a lot about his birthdays before and he wasn’t planning to start now. Full moon nights, however, were something he cared very much about.

Ever since he had found the mirror that connected him to Viktor five years ago, Yuuri had spent every full moon with him in the small storage room. It had felt strange at first but the more he had learned about the other boy, man now, the more connected he felt to him. Viktor was 21 now, only four years older than Yuuri himself. Yuuri knew that his birthday was on December 25th but that Christmas didn’t exist in his world. However, Viktor never celebrated his birthday, he didn’t understand why he would celebrate getting older. Yuuri could understand that sentiment very well. Of course he had been excited for his birthday when he had been a child but the older he got, the less significance they seemed to hold for him.

Thinking about the night ahead, Yuuri barely managed to keep himself from grinning. He had never told his friends about Viktor. If he was honest with himself, he didn’t _want_ to share his meetings with the other man, they felt almost sacred to Yuuri. He doubted they would believe him anyway and there was no harm in keeping a secret for himself now, was there?

“You’re doing it again, Yuuri-kun!” Yuuko said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

“Doing what?” he countered while playing with the straw in his smoothie.

“That thing when you just slip into your own world without answering my question!”

Yuuko’s forehead was furrowed in a deep frown as she leaned forward to look at him more closely. She stayed like that for a moment before her lips twitched into a smirk

“If I didn’t know any better Katsuki Yuuri, I would say you act like a maiden in love!”

Yuuri chocked on his drink at the comment, coughing violently for a moment before looking at Yuuko in disbelief.

“W-hat….w-why would you say that, Yuu-chan! It’s ridiculous!”

She chuckled and leaned back again, obviously satisfied with the reaction she had gotten.

“You are like that every month around full moon. You daydream constantly and I can’t even count the times I have seen you smiling to yourself!”

She sighed deeply and then shook her head before speaking again.

“But then I also know everyone you hang out with and the time you spent at Ice Castle so there is absolutely no way you have been meeting someone without me knowing….”

Yuuri suddenly felt like he was in some kind of interrogation. Yuuko had often lamented about the fact that Yuuri didn’t seem interested in anyone and for the longest time Yuuri hadn’t been because he had really liked Yuuko. Yuuko with her mesmerizing brown eyes, her soft hair that she usually caught in a ponytail and her gentle smile.

He had adored her since he was little and had considered confessing to her in 8th grade. However, the day he had wanted to do so, Yuuko had told him that she and Takeshi were now going out, that he had confessed to her the night before. She had looked so _happy_ that all Yuuri could do was wish her good luck and tell her that he was happy for her. He had never looked back to his feelings and, strangely enough, found it oddly refreshing to not worry about them anymore.

Of course he had told Viktor everything about it and his friend had looked worried then, worried that it would burden Yuuri to just bury his feelings like that. Yuuri had hardly been able to hide is blush at the time. Somehow, knowing that Viktor worried and cared about him always made his stomach flip.

“I’m not seeing anyone” Yuuri said and it wasn’t a lie because he and Viktor were only friends and could never be anything else anyway “I just have a lot on my mind….”

She looked at him suspiciously but nodded, not pressing the topic any further. She sighed again and started getting out of the booth she and Yuuri were occupying.

“In either case, text me about your birthday. If you don’t, we will have to find something to celebrate it properly.” She said with a cheery smile and a wink that held the promise of a birthday party.

Yuuri groaned and let his head fall on the table before huffing a ‘fine, whatever’ at her and watching her leave. The café’s bell chimed cheerily and Yuuri knew he was finally alone. Well, as alone as one could be in a café. He looked at his half-finished smoothie and allowed himself to get lost for a moment. He really didn’t want to think about his upcoming birthday or the future. All he wanted to think about was the night ahead.

Was it possible to fall in love with someone that you only saw once a month, someone you couldn’t even touch no matter how much you wanted to? Yuuri shook his head, blushing slightly. It wasn’t like he was in love with Viktor, it wasn’t possible. But he did look forward to their meeting and he had to admit that Yuuko was right, he did tend to space out on the days right before full moon.

He sighed and started stirring his smoothie with the straw. The greenish-blue liquid started swirling slowly and Yuuri moved the straw faster, causing the glass to shake slightly at the force. He watched his drink rise towards the side of the glass and form a small drift in the middle as if it was trying to swallow a ship at sea. He imagined getting lost in the drift, being dragged down, down, down. Just like he got lost every month.

Yuuri turned his head and looked at the insight of his hand where a small silver scar was visible. Their nightly talks didn’t leave him unaffected. To be able to talk to Viktor, he needed to trade some of his blood to the mirror. While Viktor was able to watch and hear him through the mirror without it, Yuuri could only do so after he had pressed his cut hand to the cool surface. The exchange usually left him more drained than he could have imagined and he had spent the following day at home in bed more than once. Yet he wouldn’t want to miss them for anything.

They usually spent the night with Yuuri talking about everything that had happened over the month. How his training went, what he had done with his friends, how annoying school and homework were, everything really. Viktor would sit quietly and listen to Yuuri’s stories and rants and occasionally add a comment. The one thing that Viktor was most interested, though, was Yuuri’s ice skating and Yuuri was more than happy to talk about it.

Sometimes though it bothered him that Viktor rarely spoke about himself. The other man was always eager to hear about Yuuri’s life but when Yuuri about his, the most he could hope for were elusive answers. ‘Nothing interesting’ and ‘your life is much more fun to talk about’ were already some of the more detailed answers he had gotten out of him. It was frustrating at times but he still hoped that one day Viktor would open up and tell him more about his world.

Yuuri checked the clock and sighed to himself. It was still early and he had no training to distract him that day. He finished off his smoothie and left the café, heading home to see if he could walk his toy poodle Vicchan and help out around the inn. There really wasn’t anything else to do to make the time until sunset pass as fast as possible.


	2. Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri reflects on his feelings and not everything is as it should be.

_The second time Katsuki Yuuri met Viktor was exactly 29.53 days after their first encounter. Or at least that’s what he had read the average time between two consecutive full moons is. Not that he was counting the days, he would never do that. But throughout these long, long weeks, Yuuri couldn’t help wondering if he had dreamed encountering the strange yet beautiful boy in the mirror._

_The morning after their meeting, Yuuri had woken up in his bed with no recollection of how he had made it back there. The last thing he remembered was saying goodbye to Viktor and promising him that he would be back in this very same place as soon as the next full moon was visible in the sky. He had checked his hand right away but just like the day before, the cut he remembered so vividly was gone. His body had felt so drained then, his muscles protesting at the mere thought of getting up. But of course there were always reasons for his body to feel sore or drained - school, training, all nighters, or weird dreams of breathtaking people in mirrors._

_While he waited for the next full moon, Yuuri made it his habit to check the mirror in the storage room every day to make sure nothing had happened to it. It felt strangely reassuring to know that the mirror was actually there. At least it was a sign that he hadn’t imagined that part, even if the possibility of everything else just being a fantasy. More than once he found himself pressing his hand against the cool surface, hoping that something, anything, would happen. But every time he pulled his hand away in disappointment when all that happened was his handprint staining the glass. No cuts magically appeared on his hand and no one looked at him from the other side - except for his own reflection._

_He took to reminding himself that Viktor had made it clear that he could only communicate with Yuuri during full moon. Why though, Yuuri didn’t know and Viktor had not answered him when he had asked – either because he didn’t know or because he didn’t want to tell Yuuri, at least not yet. It stung a bit, especially since Viktor seemed to have watched him for several years. Yuuri couldn’t understand why the other boy would ever be interested in watching him – plain and boring Yuuri. But Viktor had been talking about Yuuri’s life as if it was the most interesting thing he could imagine. He had praised his skating skills, had gushed about his school festival performances – something Yuuri was still embarrassed about – and he had spoken about Yuuri’s family with a voice that Yuuri still couldn’t completely place. It made Yuuri’s chest hurt to just think of the all-encompassing loneliness that he had felt when Viktor had spoken. And it made him want to be able to reach through the barrier that separated him to let him know that he wasn’t alone, not anymore._

_Thinking about it made Yuuri painfully aware of how little he actually still knew about Viktor.  While the other boy had shared some basic details with Yuuri, he still felt like Viktor was hidden behind a shrouding darkness that he couldn’t penetrate, no matter how hard he tried. He knew his age, his name and that he snuck away from his obligations to be with Yuuri, that he had snuck away before to watch Yuuri during full moons. But Yuuri still had so many questions he wanted answers to. He didn’t have many friends so his meeting with Viktor felt special to him and just thinking about it filled him with a warmth he hadn’t felt before. Of course it was special alone because of the way they had met, Yuuri couldn’t deny that. But he had also felt a connection that was completely new to him. It felt as if a piece of_ **_something_ ** _, that he hadn’t even known was missing, was now in place. It was a wonderful and terrifying at once._

_So on full moon night, Yuuri sat in his room, the seconds ticking by stretching as if they were hours. And with every one that passed, Yuuri could feel his fears getting louder in his mind. He would feel so stupid if he had just imagined their meeting. A meeting that he had spent the last weeks reliving in his head. He wanted it to be real, desperately so. And yet, what were the chances that it actually had been? Who was he trying to fool except for himself?_

_Yuuri took a deep breath and got up from his table, not caring about the pencil he had been holding falling to the floor. As quietly as he could, he opened the door to the hallway and made his way to the banquet hall. Before opening the large sliding door, he listen intensively, making sure that neither his parents nor his sister were still awake. He hadn’t thought of an excuse to explain why he was sneaking into their storage room in the middle of the night on a school day and he could hardly tell them the truth._

_When he was sure that no one was at least nearby, Yuuri opened the door and slipped inside, cursing quietly at the floorboards creaking with every step he took. He closed the door to the hallway and turned to the storage room, which was only a few quick steps away and yet seemed so impossibly far to Yuuri in that moment. One step, then another and another. That’s all it took for him to reach the door. Willing his shaking hands to still, he reached out and opened the door, gasping at the moonlight that was already flooding the room beyond._

_The cheval glass stood in the middle of the room, illuminated by moonlight in a way that made it look like an illusion. Yuuri’s heart was starting to race at the sight and he hurried to get closer to the mirror, suddenly afraid it would just disappear. Reaching out, Yuuri noticed that the cut he had received over four weeks ago, and that had disappeared so conveniently until now, was slowly but surely starting to appear again. Relief washed over him and without hesitation, he pressed his hand against the reflecting surface while whispering Viktor’s name over and over again, eyes tightly shut._

_“Yuuri, you came.”_

_It hadn’t been a dream. The voice coming from the mirror was the same that he remembered and his heart leaped at the sound. Viktor’s soft voice that always carried a hint of sadness. Viktor’s voice that said Yuuri’s name so gently, as if he were the center of the world itself. Yuuri opened his eyes and smiled at curious blue eyes that were now looking back at him. He felt the salty tang of tears on his cheeks as a month’s worth of tension left his body, leaving the sweet feeling of relief behind. He lifted his other hand and pressed it against the mirror as well, feeling happy, feeling complete once again._

_“So it wasn’t a dream, you’re real?”_

_Amusement sparkled in Viktor’s eyes as he bowed before turning around himself, long silver locks dancing around him as if trying to tie him up. When he stopped, Viktor locked his gaze with Yuuri and for the first time since Yuuri had met him, he seemed to be relaxed and almost happy. When he spoke, his voice was light and teasing though Yuuri could swear he could hear it shaking as well._

_“As real as you, Yuuri, didn’t I tell you so last time? Or did you not believe me?”_

_Yuuri nodded and then shook his head, unsure which action was the right one. He had wanted to believed Viktor, had wanted to believe him so desperately that, at times, he had felt physically sick when the thought of their meeting only being a dream. He wanted to touch him, wanted the last confirmation that the person opposite him was real and tangible and not a phantom his mind had created. Suddenly, just seeing Viktor and hearing him wasn’t enough anymore._

_Without thinking, Yuuri took a step forward and found himself pressed against the mirror, willing his hands to break the barrier separating them. But of course it was pointless, because Viktor was in one world and Yuuri in another. Because they would never be able to meet any other way. Yuuri wanted to cry, wanted to scream._

_He allowed himself to sink to his knees, his legs giving in below him without warning. He felt Viktor’s eyes following him closely, worry twisting his beautiful face. Yuuri looked up and gave the other boy a small smile. When he spoke, he was glad his voice wasn’t as shaky as his body felt._

_“I guess I was just afraid that it had been a dream. You don’t meet someone through a mirror every day.”_

_Viktor chuckled at his words and sat down on the floor as well, just like he had done during the last full moon. As before, all Yuuri could see was the reflection of the storage room behind Viktor and he quietly wondered if that was Viktor’s world, a mirror image of his own that was just a bit different. A world that didn’t have a Yuuri just like his own world didn’t have a Viktor. The thought was strangely painful and he forced himself to push it aside for the time being. Maybe he would find out one day. For now, Yuuri would embrace the bit of time they had. He still wasn’t sure why Viktor was so interested in him and he suspected that the other boy would eventually find someone else that holds his interest more than a 13-years old middle school student from Japan with mediocre figure skating talent._

_“Tell me about yourself, Viktor. I know you said it was boring but I want to know….I hardly know anything still.”_

_For the duration of a heartbeat, Yuuri was sure that a shadow was covering Viktor face and that his eyes had lost some of the spark that pulled Yuuri in so much. But when he blinked it was gone and Viktor was just smiling at him. Had he imagined it? He didn’t know how this mirror connection worked very well yet so maybe it was only a shadow that had covered the surface momentarily. Yuuri moved even closer and leaned his forehead against the spot where he saw Viktor’s on the other side of the mirror. The other boy followed suit and if it weren’t for the wall separating them, Yuuri would have been able to feel his touch. He felt a small sting in his hand but didn’t pay it any heed._

_“Please...” Yuuri said in a soft voice that sounded more desperate than he had intended it to._

_He had told Viktor everything , had answered every question, and he needed to know more about his new friend in return. He needed it so much that he could feel his chest clenching at the thought that he could be denied again. Viktor sighed at his words and when Yuuri opened his eyes, he saw the other boy looking at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Despite the smile Viktor was still wearing, Yuuri had the impression that something in him had been locked away. When he spoke, it wasn’t harsh or unkind but his voice was so sad again that Yuuri felt as if he had been locked into a dark room without any way to escape ever again._

_“I can’t promise I can answer all your questions Yuuri, I’m sorry. I….” Viktor stopped to take a deep breath before continuing. “I’m here, I’m real….is that not enough?”_

_Yuuri whimpered softly despite trying to stop the sound. It wasn’t like they would ever be able to be closer than this so why was he feeling like he needed to know? He didn’t want to make Viktor sad by forcing him to talk about something he didn’t want to speak about._

_“But…” Viktor’s voice, now softer, made Yuuri lock his eyes with the other boy. “...I don’t want you to be scared of me or worried. I’ll try and answer you but know that when I don’t, it’s not because I don’t want to tell you. Some stories are simply not mine to tell.”_

_And just like that, Viktor had opened a part of himself to Yuuri, had met Yuuri in the middle to make a compromise that would alleviate some of Yuuri’s distress. And Yuuri felt the grip in his chest unexpectedly loosening. It was more than he had ever hoped for._

_So Yuuri  asked anything he could think of, from Viktor’s favorite meal (a name Yuuri couldn’t pronounce) and favorite pet (dogs) to where he went to school (he didn’t) to his family (he had non). Viktor patiently answered a lot of his random questions but only smiled apologetically at most of the things he really wanted to know. When it was clear to Yuuri that Viktor wouldn’t answer anything else, he started to tell him about everything he had done in the last weeks. He told Viktor how his teachers had been annoying, how his training left him with blisters on his feet more than once and how his friends, Yuuko and Takeshi, had been trying to get him interested in this new card game. Yuuri didn’t mention how much everyone had commented on how distracted he had been. He didn’t mention how often he had thought about Viktor and their meeting. And he didn’t mention that he was afraid._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuuri startled awake and looked around, his eyes immediately wandering to the clock. While it was already getting dark outside, it was only late afternoon and he wouldn’t be able to see Viktor for at least another two hours. He stretched a little and felt his back complaining at the sudden movement. As so many times before, Yuuri had fallen asleep at his table, attempting to do his homework. He was in his last year of high school now so he knew he should be studying.

Sighing, Yuuri opened his history book and spent the whole amount of five minutes trying to remember the dates and events on the pages in front of him. It wasn’t like he found the French Revolution boring, he even remembered that it had started in 1789, but there were simply more important matters on his mind. Or people. One person to be precise.

Yuuri groaned as his thoughts - once again - returned to the beautiful silver-haired man. Sometimes he felt that Viktor was occupying his mind way more than he should be - and not just around full moon. Yuuri hadn’t noticed it at first so when he finally did, it felt like running against a wall just to realize that it had, in fact, **always** been there. The realization had been sudden and painful that way and Yuuri knew he couldn’t do anything about it, couldn’t change how he felt despite the fact that being together was simply impossible. So he hadn’t told Viktor about how he felt, hadn’t told him that, slowly but surely, every thought of Yuuri’s had been filled with thought of the other man.

He crossed his arms on the table in front of him and bedded his head on them while closing his eyes. Almost immediately, his mind was flooded with images of silver hair and bright blue eyes. In his mind, Viktor smiled and it made Yuuri’s heart skip a beat. In the five years he had known Viktor now, Viktor had grown from a beautiful youth into an equally beautiful man. His hair easily cascaded to his waist and emphasized his muscular shoulders and chest. Yuuri wondered how it would feel to run his hand through Viktor’s hair. It looked so soft and he felt his fingers twitch at the thought of letting them slowly slide through it. He longed to feel the strands caress his skin.

There was nothing wrong with _wishing_ for it, was there? He knew it couldn’t happen but in his mind, his heart, he was free to imagine it. Yuuri smiled and allowed himself to get lost in his thoughts, allowed himself the moment of respite from a truth that made him unable to breathe, unable to _think_.

When Yuuri opened his eyes again, he was relieved to see that he didn’t have to wait much longer. A quick glance to the window confirmed that the moon was already rising. A smile played around his lips and he grabbed the drink and snacks he had prepared for the night, something he had started doing after blacking out in front of the mirror several times in the past. It was also why he had taken to napping right before their meetings. While he still felt the strain for a few days, the provisions and napping did make it easier on his body.

After making sure that he couldn’t hear his parents or sister in the house, Yuuri got up and tiptoed his way to the storage room. It was still a few minutes too early so he put his stuff on the floor and left the room again for a quick trip to the bathroom. Afterwards, he washed his hands and looked at his reflection in the mirror above the sink.

He had changed, too. When Yuuri was 13, a round face with chubby baby cheeks looked back at him whenever he dared look into a mirror. Now, his face was leaner, the baby fat gone from it. His hair, however, was still an unruly, black mess that he had long given up on. As long as he could get it to look acceptable, he was fine with that and didn’t bother much.

The only exception to this rule was during skating competitions when Yuuri wore his hair slicked back. He kind of liked the feeling of it but never dared to use that kind of styling for school. It wasn’t that he didn’t get along with his classmates, no, he just had trouble to actually interact with them a lot. But when he skated, everything was different. On some days, when he wasn’t a nervous mess, Yuuri felt like a completely different person out on the ice. More than once he had wished he could embrace that part of himself more but so far it still eluded him.

Yuuri lifted his hand to his hair and ran it through the raven mass while watching it move in the mirror. Something was off. He couldn’t really put a finger on what it was but he had noticed it before. Every now and then, when he looked at his reflection, the movements seemed….off, delayed. As if his reflection was struggling to keep up with his movements. Thinking about it made a cold shiver run down his spine and he repeated the movement to ensure himself that he was just being silly, that there was no way his reflection could not be in perfect synch with him.

He moved his face closer to the mirror, paying close attention to his approaching features. He moved his arm, then his fingers, then blinked and, for just a moment, Yuuri was sure that he saw his other hand move in the mirror despite it being firmly placed on the sink. Suddenly the room felt smaller, as if something was trying to keep him from moving. Yuuri’s hands flew to his mouth as he stifled a scream, taking slow steps away from the sink, the mirror, and his reflection. He reached for the door handle and almost cried out in relief as the door easily slid open and allowed him to leave the room.

The house was still silent and it was the only thing that kept Yuuri from running as fast as he could. Suddenly the storage room seemed to be a world away and he wanted to do nothing more than hide. Hide from whatever it had been that had made his reflection move on its own. Hide from the cold he could swear he had felt enveloping him.

Breathing heavily, Yuuri almost slammed the door behind him when he finally reached the room. He sank to the floor, back pressed against the door, and clenched his fingers into the fabric of his shirt when his eyes fell on the familiar shape of the cheval glass in front of him. Once again, his image stared back at him, cowered against the door while blatant panic paled his skin. This wouldn’t do, Viktor would worry if he saw Yuuri like this and how was he supposed to explain to the other man that he was afraid of his own mirror image?

In the meantime, the moon was high enough to illuminate the storage room to its usual brightness. The edges of the standing mirror were reflecting the stray rays, throwing odd shapes against the wall and other items in the room. Yuuri’s hand was itching and when he looked down, a familiar red line had appeared on the palm of his hand. It was magic, that Yuuri was sure of by now. It felt silly to compare it to games and fantasy novels but that’s exactly what it felt like to him. He had looked up blood magic before but all he had found were stupid made-up rules for games and role plays. Of course Yuuri hadn’t expected a how-to guide but he had been quite disappointed at the lack of information.

He watched the line get darker until the first drops of blood appeared and pooled in his hand. There was no pain though, just a small itch that Yuuri knew would stay with him until their time for the night was up. Viktor was already waiting for him on the other side of the looking glass. So Yuuri got up with still-shaking legs and stepped closer to the mirror. The light in the room made his image look even paler and for a brief moment he wondered if his reflection would touch the surface and if he would be able to see Viktor, to hear his voice, if it didn’t.

Taking a deep breath, Yuuri closed the last bit of distance remaining between him and the mirror and pressed his hand against it, watching the blood slowly run down past his fingers. He felt his heart skipping a beat as the seconds ticked by and he waited for the familiar blue eyes to look back at him.

But all he saw were his own eyes, mocking him. Brown eyes staring back at him, making the absence of bright blue ones even more apparent.


	3. Up The Down Staircase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yuuri has a scary encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> I'm really sorry for the long wait, a lot has been going on so I didn't get to write on this a lot.
> 
>  
> 
> **Not beta-ed**
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

_ They had been meeting like this for almost two years now; in the middle of the night when the moon was high in the sky and painting the storage room in its pale light. They were both sitting on the floor with Yuuri making sure to keep his hand in contact with the mirror. He still didn’t fully understand how all this worked and when he had asked Viktor before, the man had only shrugged and told him that he wasn’t sure about the details either.  _

_ “Why can I only see you during full moon?” Yuuri asked with a deep sigh. He had been wondering about this for a while now as well. While he enjoyed his monthly meet-ups, it didn’t feel like quite enough anymore. There were so many things he wanted to discuss with Viktor and a few hours every month just weren’t enough to satisfy him anymore. _

_ And there was something else that had started to bother him recently. Yuuri wasn’t sure what to make out of this feeling but whenever he had to say goodbye to Viktor, he felt like a piece of him was slipping out of place until he could see him again. It was an unsettling feeling, something he wished he could make more sense of. The strange thing was that while he was with Viktor, he felt so utterly whole that he almost forgot anything else. _

_ He secretly wondered if Viktor felt the same when he was with Yuuri. While he had made sure to look down, Yuuri couldn’t help his gaze from wandering up until he met Viktor’s eyes. As usual, he found the young man looking at him with so much intensity that Yuuri couldn’t help holding his breath for a moment before trying to release it in a way that wouldn’t give away his reaction. _

_ “I’m not really sure….” Viktor said in a low voice. “ All I know is that the full moon is acting as a kind of gate that allows our worlds to connect.” _

_ Yuuri hummed in response. He had read about stories where the moon had opened gates into different worlds before. Of course it was all just urban legends. It wasn’t like someone would publish a book on blood magic and moon gates that would be taken seriously. However, he knew that a lot of cultures believed that a full moon influences the world. It felt like part of the information was missing though. _

_ “I was wondering…would anyone else be able to talk to you?” he asked tentatively, unsure if he actually wanted to know the answer. _

_ Viktor weighted his next answer carefully, Yuuri could see it in the way his body tensed and his eyes looked anywhere but at Yuuri. “That depends. Part of the reason we can talk is because of your blood. I’m not sure if it would work with anyone but you.” _

_ It made sense to Yuuri but it also made him wonder if anyone’s blood would be fine. He was now 15 but he didn’t remember seeing the mirror in the storage room before their first meeting and he usually got sent to it a lot for errants. He frowned and opened his mouth to ask the question when he noticed that the light coming into the room had changed to a light orange already. _

_ “It’s almost morning….” Viktor sighed, sounding more reluctant than Yuuri had ever heard him before. It made his chest tingle in a funny way and he found himself shifting restlessly. _

_ “What if you stay…?” Yuuri asked quietly, cursing himself for letting the thought slip. Viktor smiled at him and then lowered his head, long hair falling down to cover his face. _

_ “I wish I could….” came the reply. “I wish I could, Yuuri.” _

_ Yuuri jumped up, pressing his second hand against the mirror as well while staring at Viktor, tears stinging in his eyes. _

_ “Then stay! Please stay, Viktor!” he begged, trying his best to merge with the mirror. _

_ As the morning light started to fill the room, the last thing Yuuri could hear was a mumbled ‘goodbye, Yuuri’’  before Viktor’s frame disappeared and the only thing Yuuri could see was his own reflection staring at him. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuuri startled awake, head slipping from the arms it had rested on only moments ago. The impact made the pens littering the table slip down and fall to the floor with a sound that felt too loud to Yuuri’s ears in the silence of the room. Still confused, his eyes darted to the clock and he felt himself release a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. There was still time, his meeting with Viktor would only happen in half an hour.

The room wasn’t cold, really, and yet Yuuri felt a shiver run down his back. He could feel the beads of sweat gluing his bangs to his forehead. It had only been a dream was what he told himself, only a nightmare. He’d had nightmares before, nightmares about school and skating, about his family and friend but never about his meetings with Viktor before. They had been a safe haven, something to look forward to among all the chaos he sometimes felt his life was.

“It was just a dream, pull yourself together….”

Hearing himself made it seem more real somehow and the shaking in his hands slowly stopped. Yuuri got up and pulled his cotton shirt over his head. The back was laced with sweat, staining the fabric in a darker blue than the original tone. It wasn’t really an issue, there were enough shirts in the closet, most of them in different shades of blue or grey. It was strange how the colors blue and grey have always been so prominent in his wardrobe without him really noticing. Blue and grey, blue and silver – there really wasn’t much of a difference now, was there? He couldn’t help a set of eyes flashing in his mind at the thought.

Yuuri shook his head strongly, bringing his thoughts back to the task at hand – redressing himself. He grabbed a random shirt from the drawer – a dark red one with a grey Nike emblem on the front – and pulled it over his head and down his upper body. Only 15 minutes until their meeting. Yuuri could feel his left hand twitching and knew that the familiar wound would appear soon. He quickly grabbed the snacks and drink he had stored in his drawer and felt his pulse speeding up when he remembered the familiar motion from his dream.

It wasn’t a surprise since he had gone through the motion for years now and yet it suddenly struck him as uncomfortable. Placing the snacks back on the table, he decided to only take the bottle of water with him this time. He could always go and get the snacks if he felt too hungry or if he needed a boost of energy to stay awake.

Feeling calmer, he made his way to the storage room and closed the door behind himself quietly. There was still time, enough to make a quick trip to the bathroom and relieve his bladder from the pressure he could feel but Yuuri couldn’t get himself to move. It was all too familiar. The rays of moonlight that were illuminating the room hit the mirror in the same angle as in his dream. He could see his own reflection dipped in the pale lighting, making his body look as if it was covered  in blue-ish dust. He saw his chest rise and fall with every breath, saw the intervals get shorter as his breathing sped up and started to turn frantic.

A familiar dread started to cloud Yuuri’s mind as his thoughts kept going back to his dream. He squinted and stepped closer to the reflective surface and lifted his right arm over his head. Yuuri’s heart was beating wildly against his rib cage as he looked for any signs of delay on his mirror image. Up and down, left and right, front and back. He kept moving his arm in all directions until he was sure that his ghostly reflection still obeyed him as it should.

Relief washed over Yuuri and he felt his legs giving in as he sank to the floor. The knot in his throat that had threatened to choke Yuuri was finally loosening and he berated himself for getting so worked up. Of course it had only been a dream, of course it wasn’t possible that his own reflection suddenly started acting on its own.

It almost worked. He could feel the dread bubbling inside him subside slowly but surely and his breathing, while still fast, started to even out and settled into a less frantic rhythm. Yuuri closed his eyes and counted backwards from 10, making sure to breathe in with every new number and out between them. When he felt a small sting in his hand, he opened his eyes again and looked down. A small trickle of blood was already running down his hand and had started to drop on the wooden planks below his feet. Drip, drip, drip.

He swiftly lifted his hand and closed the last remaining distance to the mirror. He looked at his hand again and for a moment his eyes remained on the small pool of blood that had gathered in his palm. It wasn’t much but for a moment he wondered what would happen if the cut didn’t close again. Shaking his head, he raised his head again and looked at his reflection, determination clearly visible in his eyes.

Before he could think about it further, he pressed his hand against the surface with more force than would have been necessary. He felt a familiar draft coming from nowhere and a smile played around his lips. At least this was different, this wasn’t like it had been in his dream.

“Yuuri….”

Yuuri closed his eyes when he heard Viktor’s familiar voice in his ear. He felt a tugging against his hand and knew that the magic was running its course. His blood was needed to make the connection and Yuuri would give as much as was necessary if it meant he could see the other man again.

“Yuuri, stop….”

Something wasn’t right. He tried to open his eyes but his lid stayed firmly closed no matter how hard he tried. There was no pain, just the constant tugging on his hand and a something akin to a light electric current. He felt it run through his body and it left him with a tingling sensation. Drip, drip, drip. Yuuri heard small droplets of blood hit the floor again and suddenly just the thought of moving exhausted him.

“Please Yuuri, you need to leave…..”

Viktor’s voice was soft but laced with a hint of panic now, it didn’t suit him. All Yuuri wanted was to see Viktor again so why would he want to leave now? His head felt jumbled and he knew something was missing in his thoughts but he didn’t know what it was. And oh, why would it matter? All he had to do was open his eyes and he could see beautiful blue eyes gaze at him, framed by moonlight and silver.

“No!” Viktor shouted, making Yuuri’s ear ring painfully.

He felt the current running through him reverse and his body was pushed back, making Yuuri crash into the wall of the storage room with a hollow bump. He groaned and tried to lift his head. His whole body felt so heavy and he felt tired, so very tired. And all the while, he heard his blood hit the floor. Drip, drip, drip.

After what felt like forever, Yuuri finally managed to open his eyes and lift his head, just to regret it an instant later. He knew he was sitting on the floor but from the mirror in front of him, his reflection was looking down on him with a look of pure loathing. Yuuri was sure he could hear him hissing at him and if not for his body being so unbearably heavy, Yuuri would have ran away as fast as he could.

His mirror image had both hands pressed against the inside of the mirror with so much force that Yuuri was surprised that the mirror didn’t break. On the outside, Yuuri’s bloody handprints were clearly visible and he wondered for a moment when he had moved his other hand against it. With the pressure gone, Yuuri could see lines of red run down to the frame, leaving a bloody trail behind. His reflection hissed again and began pounding against the glass. Where Yuuri’s eyes were a deep brown, his reflections had become red – as if they had absorbed the blood – and his expression was twisted, mouth wider than it should be.

Yuuri felt his lungs close, making it hard for him to breathe again. He didn’t understand what was happening despite trying to do so desperately. He had never felt threatened by the mirror, had never regretted finding it. But now all he wanted to do was get away and forget everything. Everything and…. _ Viktor _ !

The name nothing but vibrated in his mind, making him feel lightheaded. For a moment, the silver-haired man had been erased from Yuuri’s mind completely. What had happened to him? Where was he? Yuuri looked up, bracing himself for the view – the view of his contorted reflection – but when his eyes hit the mirror, a flash a silver made him gasp in relief.

Viktor was standing on the other side of the mirror, looking at Yuuri with an expression that Yuuri couldn’t fully understand. Was it anger? Fear? Relief? Desperation? He was sure he could see all of these things in his eyes and yet there was  _ more. _ The silence in the storage room suddenly felt stifling, like a noose around Yuuri’s neck threatening to choke him if he didn’t remove it.

“Viktor?”

He hardly recognized his own voice, shaking and broken, seemingly echoing from the walls of a room that was way too packed with items to be able to produce an echo. In front of him, Viktor just looked at Yuuri without saying a word. Was Yuuri just imagining it or did he look different? Something was off but he couldn’t put a finger on what it could be.

Gathering all his strength, Yuuri pushed himself off the floor, wondering how his family hadn’t stormed the room yet after all the ruckus. He shook his head and slowly put one foot in front of the other until he reached the mirror. His hands were shaking when he lifted them. He didn’t dare to lock his eyes with Viktor’s as he placed his hands against the bloody mirror again. This time the feeling was familiar – warm and inviting.

“Why didn’t you leave, Yuuri…You shouldn’t be here.”

It wasn’t a question, not directly. Yuuri knew that Viktor already had found the answer but he hadn’t be able to not ask.

“I wanted to see you.” Was Yuuri’s obvious answer.

“Do you believe in dreams, Yuuri?”

Yuuri frowned at the sudden change of topic. It wasn’t like he didn’t believe in dreams, he had them almost every night, but somehow he doubted that the believe Viktor was talking about was the same kind of believe.

“I don’t understand what you mean…” Yuuri said quietly while he looked at Viktor.

He really didn’t. Everything about their meeting had gone wrong and Yuuri had no idea why that was. He didn’t know what he had seen in the mirror or where it had gone. While Viktor didn’t look away, Yuuri wasn’t sure if the silver-haired man would explain what had happened.

“Didn’t you have a dream before you came here tonight?”

The furrow in Yuuri’s brow became more prominent as his frown deepened. What did his dream have to do with all of this?

“You did, didn’t you?” Viktor asked again. His voice was steady and yet it made Yuuri hesitate. There was something in his voice that was new and yet familiar. It was as if the ever-present sadness in Viktor’s voice was threatening to take him over.

“I did….” Yuuri answered hesitantly, unsure of what to expect. His meetings with Viktor had been a constant in his life for the last years. He had felt safe and now it felt as if this had been taken away, ripped from his hands and placed out of reach.

Relief flooded Viktor’s eyes, removing the dark veil that had been clouding them this whole time.

“Then why did you come here? Didn’t it feel odd to you?” Viktor’s eyes narrowed as he spoke and for the fraction of a second, Yuuri thought that the moon had been covered by clouds. But when he looked around, the bright rays were still illuminating the room with their ghostly light.

“It was just a dr-”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU STAY AWAY?” Yuuri’s eyes opened wide at the sudden angry outburst. He had never seen Viktor angry but even after what had happened, he didn’t see it coming. The other man had disguised his emotions so well that Yuuri felt overwhelmed by the pure rage he emitted now. 

“This is not a game, Yuuri! You could have died!” Viktor continued, his voice and hands shaking with barely contained emotions. The silver-haired man lifted one of his hands and ran it through his hair, leaving a trail of blood behind. It made his hair look even paler as the bright slowly turned into a shade of dirty brown.

“I...I didn’t know…..I’m sorry…..” Yuuri stammered. “I just wanted to see you….”

Viktor’s expression softened a bit at Yuuri’s words and he left out a long sigh. He still sounded strained when he spoke but his voice had lost much of the earlier bite.

“It’s not safe anymore…maybe it never was.” he started and Yuuri could hear his voice breaking. “I’m sorry, Yuuri, this is all my fault. I should have never….”

Viktor shook his head, tears dripping from his eyelashes. “I just wanted to be with you again...”

It was a confusing confession and Yuuri wasn’t sure what to make out of it. He had wanted to see Viktor too but Viktor’s words seemed to carry more weight than that, seemed to be pregnant with meaning in a way that Yuuri couldn’t grasp.

“What are you talking about, Viktor? I’m right here….” Yuuri finally managed to say after a moment of silence that felt to long. 

Viktor smiled at him and Yuuri felt something shatter, felt a distant memory emerge that he couldn’t really place. A memory full of long silver hair and bottomless blue eyes full of tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'd be delighted to get your comments here.
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr](http://chessala.tumblr.com)


	4. The Twin Faces of Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A destiny told - a path to be chosen. This is how Viktor first layed eyes on Yuuri through one of the portals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm so sorry this took so long. I've been having a major block for this fic and for the longest time, I had no idea how to continue it. I know the chapter is a little short but it's the beginning of a new arc in which we will first and foremost get to know how Viktor and Yuuri met in the past, I hope you are as excited to get to know as I am to tell you about it!
> 
> As I'm working on several other project, I do hope to have a new update by the **end of January/latest mid February** but I won't make any promises about it! I'll give an update about the progress on [ my tumblr ](chessala.tumblr.com) by that time if I'm not ready, though!
> 
> Thank you for everyone that is still interested in this fic and to everyone that is giving it a short!
> 
> **Not beta-ed**
> 
> Enjoy!

“You know what to do, Vitya.”  Yakov said with his usual raspy voice, neither tender nor scolding. Just a statement and it hurt even more because of it. Viktor knew what he had to do, knew what lay ahead of him, and yet he couldn’t move.  
  
He looked down, looked at the sleeping form in the bed in front of him. Dark, messy hair was half-covering Yuuri’s face and Viktor felt like he was being strangled by the emotions he could feel rising in his throat. How long had it been since he met Yuuri, since he had abandoned his destiny and begged to be given a life to be with him? Viktor couldn’t remember how many years had passed but he still remembered the day when he laid eyes on the boy on the other side.  
  
\--------  
  
  
It had been nothing but a dare between him and Chris, nothing more than a little fun. Chris challenged him to open a portal, knowing fully well that Viktor would never back down. Only trained Keepers were allowed to open portals and only Wanderers were allowed to step through them. Viktor and Chris were neither.  
  
“Knowing how to do it doesn’t mean you can do it, Viktor.” Chris said, watching Viktor complete the preparations.  
  
“Maybe not, but that’s why I have to try! Yakov will be so proud of me if I do it properly.” Viktor answered excitedly. “Maybe he’ll let me be a Keeper instead of just being a Watcher!”  
  
“Are we talking about the same Yakov?” Chris asked with a raised eyebrow. “Council head and so choleric that he was bald by the time he hit thirty? You know he’ll never let you be anything but what your prophecy said.”  
  
Viktor sighed and looked at the tools in front of him. Chris was right, Yakov never strayed from the prophecies. That’s why he had adopted Viktor, to personally train him as a Watcher.  
  
Watchers were meant to watch both worlds, make sure the Wanderers didn’t disturb the balance when they travelled to the other side. It was an important task, one that many people wished would be theirs. Viktor wasn’t one of them, though.  
  
Viktor had always been fascinated by the portals that connected the two worlds, worlds so similar and yet so different at the same time. He had begged Yakov to let him choose his own path, to do what he truly wanted to but to no avail. To the council, prophecies were absolute as they were a rare gift that foretold a child’s destiny. It wasn’t uncommon for a child to be adopted by a council member to ensure their training can be overseen from an early age. And of all the prophecies, Viktor’s had destined him to be a Watcher.  
  
While a Watcher’s most important task was to, well, watch, their real importance and the reason why there were only three was that they also had the power to manipulate the streams of time if it was necessary. They spent their lives locked away in sanctuaries, shielded from outside influences. Just thinking about it made Viktor feel like shackles were attached to his neck, slowly strangling him.  
  
“I have to try, Chris….” Viktor mumbled more to himself than his friend. Viktor was sixteen now; in less than two years he was expected to start walking his destined path. Which meant that he only had two years left to convince Yakov that he would be horrible at fulfilling his destiny, disastrous even.  
  
“You do know how to close it again, too, right?” Chris said, voice laced with a hint of panic at Viktor actually attempting to go through with their plan.  
  
“How hard can that possibly be?” Viktor said while rolling his eyes at Chris. “I know what I’m doing, don’t worry!”  
  
Chris still didn’t look convinced but Viktor didn’t particularly care. Dare or not, Viktor would have tried his luck soon anyway. The whole procedure wasn’t  too complicated in Viktor’s opinion anyway; all he had to do was draw a few symbols on the floor, say a few sentences while focusing on imagining his portal and that’s it. The portal will open for a few minutes and, if not touched or used otherwise, will close on its own. Easy.  
  
Viktor closed his eyes and took a deep breath, ignoring Chris’ presence as good as possible. He could still hear his friend mumbling in the background, trying to get Viktor to back out. It was easy for Chris, he had no prophecy ahead of him, no premade path that tied him down - Chris was free. All Viktor could think about was that he would be trapped in a Sanctuary until he was too old for his task or died, whichever came first. Yakov called it a dream but for Viktor, it was nothing but a nightmare.  
  
After drawing the last line, Viktor looked at his drawing - a beautiful pattern of intertwining vines and flowers. There were no fixed patterns, each portal carried some of the characteristics of the person that opened - letting them connect to the other side. Maybe it was just curiosity, but Viktor had always felt drawn to the portals. He didn’t care about manipulating time - all he wanted was to go to that other world. Sometimes when he dreamed, he felt like something or someone was waiting for him there, calling out to him. That’s why he had to try and see for himself, why he had to change his destiny.  
  
If Viktor focused, he could already feel the energy radiating from his fingertips, urging him on. With shaking fingers, Viktor put the chalk away and stepped in front of the drawing. What would his portal look like? He had never seen one himself, didn’t know if the ‘individuality’ also showed in the way they looked. If the portal was his connection to the other world, would Viktor be able to see whatever it was that was pulling him? Whatever it was, it would be better than what was awaiting Viktor here, it had to be.  
  
Viktor took another deep breath and stretched out his hands, hovering them over the drawing. He could feel the rush of energy coming from inside him, dripping from his fingers to the ground. He looked down, imagining the magic slowly spreading and filling the outlines. Forcing himself to focus on the portal itself, Viktor imagined a mirror - a gate to a world that looked so much like his and yet was so different.  
  
When he opened his eyes, the previously white outline was glowing in a pale green, bending in itself. Panicking, Viktor used all his willpower to not move his hands away. All that was missing was for him to say the words and his portal, his very own portal, would appear. He opened his mouth and hardly recognized his own voice. It almost sounded the same but something else was weaving into it, distorting the sound. The words left Viktor’s throat strangely rough, as if he had been talking too much.  
  
By the time Viktor finished talking, the outline was glowing so brightly that he had to close his eyes again. Behind him, Chris was gasping even though he had been quiet until now. It didn’t sound scared so Viktor assumed that whatever was happening was what was supposed to happen. He could slowly feel the magic finishing its work as the energy running through him started to wane. Even through his closed eyes, Viktor could see the glow becoming less and he dared to open his eyes, cold sweat dripping from his eyelashes.  
  
The drawing had disappeared and in its stead, a large wooden standing mirror had appeared. The rectangular glass framed by the heavy wood was exactly what Viktor had imagined. The vines that had been so present in his drawing had turned into carvings along the sides and over the corners. The glass itself, however, wasn’t reflecting Viktor’s image. It was showing a room in a place that Viktor didn’t know - a room with a bed, a table and strange mats on the floor that he had never seen before. On the far wall, he saw a pair of shoes with blades attached to the bottom, reflecting the light that shone through the window.  
  
Viktor stretched out his hand, wondering if the bed and table felt the same as the ones he had in his own room. The light felt soft, sunlight illuminating parts of the floor. The flooring looked strangely hard and a bit worn, making Viktor wonder if it would be exchanged soon. Despite the simplicity of the decoration, Viktor felt warmth radiating from every corner of the room, something he never felt in his own chambers.  
  
“You really did it!”  
  
Viktor startled at Chris’ sudden outburst, having completely forgotten about his friend. He turned around with a proud smile. He wondered if Chris could see what he did. The thought of it made Viktor strangely uneasy, as if having Chris see the room on the other side was like sharing a secret that was meant for him alone. The mirror was his portal, after all.  
  
“Piece of cake, I told you I could do it.” Viktor said proudly, trying his best to suppress the uneasiness in his stomach. He only had a few minutes unless he touched the portal. Viktor had no idea what would happen if he actually kept the portal from closing. No one from the other side could come to their world but what about the space in between? Every child knew the stories of shadows using a carelessly opened portal to snatch them if they didn’t behave. Viktor also knew the stories of shadows creeping to the other side, something that had to be avoided at any cost.  
  
“Don’t take too long Yuuri or Yuuko-chan will scold you again!”  
  
“I just need to grab my skates!”  
  
The voices came suddenly, making Viktor whip his head around to look back at the portal. The room still looked the same but he could hear steps coming closer with every passing moment. Suddenly the sliding door to the left was opened with a loud ‘bang’ and someone rushed into the room.  
  
A boy a few years younger than Viktor entered, looking around the room with his back turned towards Viktor. His short, black hair looked messy despite the obvious effort that had been put into brushing it. It made Viktor smile just a little. When looking at the shoes on the wall, the boy rushed to pick them up together with a training bag next to them that Viktor hadn’t noticed before. The boy turned around and was about to leave the room when he turned directly to Viktor and moved closer.  
  
Apart from his hair, Viktor could now see that the boy had a set of blue glasses perched on his nose. From behind them, a set of the most beautiful, brown eyes was looking directly at Viktor. Viktor inhaled sharply, hand reaching for the portal instinctively, as if he had finally found what he had been looking for all this time. He knew that the boy couldn’t see Viktor, that he was probably just looking at his own reflection, hesitantly pulling at a few strands of unruly hair.  
  
“I’ll tell her today….”  
  
The words were said hesitantly, as if the boy knew that he wouldn’t follow through with it. A delicate shade of pink was slowly spreading on his cheeks, making him look even younger. Viktor could see the hand that was still pulling on his fringe shaking slightly and Viktor wondered who he was thinking about. Viktor wished it was him.  
  
The boy slowly took a step back and nodded at his own reflection one last time before rushing out of the room and slamming the door behind him, bladed shoes dancing on his back. Almost immediately, the image in the mirror slowly started to blur, a light glow coming from the frame of the mirror as it started to dissolve. Viktor could feel the magic disappearing together with the portal and it almost felt like a part of him was leaving as well, staying behind in the unknown room with a stranger that had suddenly come into Viktor’s life.  
  
Viktor wanted to reach out, wanted to keep the portal from disappearing. But he didn’t let himself, allowed the light to fill the room as the last traces of the mirror evaporated. He could open a new portal at any time now, knowing that he could do it just fine. Next time, he would be alone and he wouldn’t let it disappear again.  
  
With a sigh, Viktor turned around and looked at his friend. Chris was looking at Viktor with an expression Viktor couldn’t really place. While he was obviously impressed, the frown edged into his forehead also didn’t make him appear particularly happy.  
  
“Are you sure it’s closed?” Chris asked while looking at the point where the mirror had been standing only moments ago. Viktor nodded, feeling a pang of regret at having lost it. While he knew how to open the portal, he didn’t quite know how or if he could control what we saw. Would he be able to see that room and the boy again?  
  
“I told you, it closes on its own if it’s not touched.” The words came out harsher than Viktor had intended them to. Chris raised an eyebrow but then shrugged, letting Viktor off the hook. He knew Viktor too well to push, knew exactly when he had to step back because not even Viktor knew what was wrong with him.  
  
“Did you see anything through it?” Chris asked eventually, cutting the silence that hung between them.  
  
“Didn’t you?” Viktor asked, confusion evident in his voice. He had assumed that Chris had seen the room as well, had seen the dark-haired boy in front of the mirror. Instead, Chris shook his head.  
  
“I saw the portal but it only showed your reflection.”  
  
It took Viktor a moment to process Chris’ words. While he had read a lot about portals, he couldn’t recall any of the books mentioning that people that were present when one was opened couldn’t see through them. Viktor wondered if Yakov could tell him why but then abandoned the idea immediately. Yakov would already be furious with him for opening a portal in the first place, asking him why he possibly messed it up wasn’t the best idea ever. No, he first had to make sure he was able to open a portal with ease.  
  
Of course, that would mean he had to do it over and over again before showing Yakov what he was capable of. It wasn’t like he hoped to see the boy again, not at all.  
  
  



	5. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was commissioned by [Icyfool](https://icyfool.tumblr.com/), thank you so much for that! It still took way too long but I can't promise any quick updates at the moment as my life has just been so chaotic, which left me with major writer's block.
> 
> I do hope that there aren't too many mistakes and that you will enjoy the chapter!
> 
> **Not beta-ed**

The floor was cold beneath Viktor’s bare feel, the sound of them hitting the stones below rumbling through the tunnel like distant thunder. It was dark but Viktor didn’t need any light, not anymore. When he first found the underground maze of hidden rooms and tunnels, he had stumbled his way through it with a torch, the flame barely lighting the area surround him due to the humidity keeping the fire small. Viktor had gotten lost so many times before but now he knew every turn, every tripping stone. And he was also pretty sure that Yakov didn’t even know this place existed.

Viktor had only found the underground maze by chance, literally falling through the opening when he tripped over a fallen log in the forest next to the sleeping quarters while looking for a place to train his portal skill without being found out. It had become apparent pretty fast that trying to open the portal in his chambers was way too risky. The first time Viktor had tried on his own, Yuri had almost walked in on him when the blond boy barged through the door into Viktor’s room without even considering to knock.

“Your room stinks,” was all Yuri, barely five years old, had said before announcing that Yakov wanted to see Viktor. Saying Yuri announced it was actually a way too polite description of the boy’s words. If Viktor were to describe it, he would say that Yuri’s voice had thrown the words at him like he would throw a bottle of acid.

Viktor wasn’t sure why Yuri seemed to despise him. All he knew was that ever since his arrived a few months ago, the boy had done his best to get on Viktor’s bad side every time they were as much as in the same room. He didn’t even really know Yuri or why he was here but whenever he looked into the child’s eyes, he could see a deep rooted dislike in them that seemed to be reserved for Viktor alone.

After that incident, Viktor had searched everywhere for a place where he could practice without anyone finding out about it. Every time he thought he found a quiet place, be it in the chapel, the backyard or even the stables, it seemed people had suddenly found out about it too, leaving Viktor with way too much company again.

The entrance to the cavern system was well hidden behind a wall of undergrowth and Viktor was very sure he would have never found it if not for his clumsiness. He considered himself an explorer of the whole complex so if he could only find this place by accident, he was confident that no one else could find it at all. He had been so happy over the discovery that he hadn’t even minded his twisted ankle, at least not until it had started hurting too much for even Viktor to ignore.

Viktor couldn’t really remember how much time he spent wandering the tunnels that day. Thinking back, all he remembered was the pain in his leg that made every step pure agony. By the time he finally found an exit, conveniently located near his sleeping chambers, Viktor could barely stand on his own feet. He somehow managed to drag himself to his chamber but then his world went black.

According to Chris, Viktor had spent three days getting nursed back to health but Viktor’s own recollections of those days was spotty at best. He remembered people giving him something that made his pain less obnoxious but it also made his mind foggy. . Viktor’s first clear memory is waking up in his room after, unsure of how much time had passed then.

Viktor was alone, the only company being a bottle of what he suspected was the medicine he had been given. Even though Viktor hated being treated without his consent, the action implying that he didn’t know what was best for him, he had to admit that he had felt significantly less in pain.

And then Viktor had remembered the tunnels, a seemingly infinite system of paths and caverns. For the first time since stumbling into it, Viktor had taken a deep breath and wondered if the place was actually dangerous. While he had emerged in one piece, he had no idea what animals had made the place their home. Leaving those concerns aside though, Viktor had to admit the place was absolutely perfect to train his portal skills.

So after the head nurse declared Viktor fully healed and he managed to dodge Yakov’s constant inquiries as to where Viktor had managed to get himself injured, Viktor started to explore the tunnel system, making sure that no one, not even Chris, followed him. Viktor felt a strange kind of possessiveness for the place and would hate for anyone else to discover it. It was actually strange how much the whole place felt as if it’s whole purpose was for Viktor to not get interrupted. 

After just a few days of exploring, Viktor had found the perfect place for his purpose. One of the tunnels opened into a rather large cavern, giving Viktor enough room to stand and make the drawing he had to. Fresh air kept the room well aired, allowing Viktor to light several candles without having to worry that he runs out of air. He only really needed the light to make his portal drawing but somehow the soft shine of candles also made him feel a bit more comfortable in the otherwise dark room.

Viktor managed to get everything he needed - chalk, candles, some water and food, and a blanket - into his new hideout without being seen, talk made easier by the convenience of the entrance to the tunnel system being near his room. A few times he barely managed to dodge one of Yuri’s surprise visits but all in all, things went along rather smoothly.

By now, almost a month had passed since Viktor had opened his first portal together with Chris. Considering that Viktor had barely two years left to convince Yakov to let Viktor follow his own path, one month felt like entirely too much to spend without training his skills.

Looking around himself in the cavern now, Viktor felt the excitement within himself so much that he could barely stay still. He would finally be able to summon his portal, his mirror, again that allowed him a glimpse into a world Viktor didn’t know the name for. A part of him wondered if he would finally be able to see the boy with the black hair again that he got a mere glimpse of before.

Viktor wasn’t entirely sure how the logistics for portals worked just yet. Was he able to control what exactly he sees? On his first attempt he hadn’t aimed for anything in particular as he hadn’t known what to expect at all. Now, however, Viktor would love to have a closer look at the room he saw and the people whose lives are connected to it.

He could always try to aim for the same place again, couldn’t he? The worst that could happen to him was that he ended up somewhere completely different and never saw the boy again. The thought left Viktor strangely uneasy and even more determination to try and see how much wiggling room exactly the portal gave him.

The patterns Viktor drew were different this time, though. Not because he didn’t remember the drawings he created before, though that was partly true as well, but simply because Viktor went by what his mind told him to draw. It wasn’t the first time that Viktor wondered why something as important as a portal spell didn’t have more precise instructions on how to use it. The only explanation Viktor had found for that was that portals are closely tied to the caster, each spell tying a piece of the caster’s soul to the portal itself.

“Worry about your own training!” Yakov had snapped when Viktor, carelessly, asked him about it. 

“But I should know this!” Viktor had insisted, desperately trying to think of a reason without giving away his intentions. Yakov had looked at him strange then, leaving Viktor unsure if the old man was suspecting anything. If he did, he never said so to Viktor.

“At least you take this more serious now.” Yakov had grunted in the end and promised Viktor that they would discuss the topic at a later time. Viktor still didn’t know when that time would be, it certainly hadn’t come yet.

So Viktor just went with his gut feeling, telling himself that in theory there wasn’t anything he could be doing wrong given the lack of instructions. Just like before, vines and flowers were very much present in Viktor’s drawings. He wasn’t sure why that was the case but looking at the intertwining patterns, Viktor felt that he was woven into the whole picture as well, parts of himself hidden in a maze of colourless greenery.

Just like before, Viktor felt the bubbling of magic within himself as soon as he finished the drawing. Maybe that was what was meant when the books said that the caster is a vital part of the spell. Viktor had always assumed that given the tools and instructions, everyone could open a portal. Feeling the tension in himself now, Viktor wondered if that was, indeed, true. If anyone could open a portal, why were Wanderers determined by a prophecy? Not counting the obvious mental abilities and trustworthiness, that would mean everyone could be a Wander.

Viktor shook his head, trying to keep his mind from wandering. He needed to focus if he wanted to open a portal again and not wonder about if what he could do was special or not. He knew he could open a portal, no matter if he was supposed to or not. 

Taking a deep breath, Viktor stepped just to the side of his portal drawings and started the incantation, his voice changing the same way it did on his first try. It almost felt like he was weaving the magic itself while he was talking, the words carrying its powers through his extended hands onto the drawing on the floor.

Once again Viktor imagined he could feel magic dripping from his fingertips as the white lines started changing colours. Unlike before though they started glowing in a pale blue, the bright light rendering the candles void with its strength. Viktor tried to keep his eyes open this time but had to give up, quietly mourning the loss of vision as he continues the spell, his throat feeling rougher with every word. Everything seemed to be even more intense and Viktor almost felt like he was pouring himself into the drawing beneath his fingers. When he finally finished, he felt more exhausted than he had been the first time. Was that supposed to happen? Viktor didn’t know and didn’t pay any attention to the question when he felt excitement fill him upon seeing the same large, wooden standing mirror he had conjured before.

Viktor stepped forward, extended hand shaking as he dared touching the frame for the first time. It felt solid, the polished wood undoubtedly real under his fingers as he ran them along the outside. Touching it made Viktor feel strangely complete and filled him with some of the energy he had lost previously.

“What will you show me today…?” Viktor whispered, feeling himself tense at the thought of what he would be shown. He knew what, or better who, he wanted to see but in general he only wanted to learn more about the word on the other side, a world that was so different from his.

Whispers started filling the cavern, the walls echoing the soft voices and making it impossible to understand what exactly they were saying. Viktor heard men and women, children and old people. They were laughing, crying, screaming, and shouting. And while Viktor couldn’t make out what exactly each of them said, every single one of them carried the breath of the world Viktor was so desperate to know about.

After some time, some of the voices became fainter and the endless grey in the portal started to clear. Soon Viktor could see something that looked like a frozen-over lake but it had walls around it. On the ice, three people were moving around, all of them enjoying their time on the slippery surface.

When Viktor recognized a certain ob of hair, he could feel his heartbeat sped up. It was him, the same boy he had seen before. And while he didn’t see him alone in his room again, Viktor was more than happy with the scenario he had been given. Maybe the portal didn’t stay in certain places but rather followed people around.

“Try the double again, Yuuri! I’m sure you can do it!” one of the three, a girl, shouted at the two guys. The boy Viktor had seen before, Yuuri, visibly swallowed and looked at the bladed shoes on his feet.

_ “I’ll fall, Yuu-chan, you know I will.” Yuuri answered, desperately trying to keep his body from shaking. _

_“Katsuki Yuuri!”_ the girl, Yuu-chan from what Viktor had heard, shouted back and she elegantly made her way over to Yuuri, stopping in front of him. _“You’ll always fall when you have already made up your mind that you do. It doesn’t matter what happened, you can only get better if you keep trying.”_

Yuuri looked around at the other guy, who tried to do his best to look bored but Viktor could see the tension in his body. After glancing back at his blades, Yuuri nodded and answered with a weak  _ ‘ok’. _ Yuuri made his way to the other end of the iced arena and closed his eyes, body stilling as he started focusing on what Viktor assumed was the double they had mentioned. When Yuuri looked up again, Viktor felt as if he was looking at him for just a moment before moving.

Yuuri’s movement made sliding on the ice look so easy, just like Yuu-chan’s had. Viktor was amazed that they didn’t fall flat on their faces. Yuuri started gaining speed, making a turn near the end of the other end of the arena before moving again. Viktor could see his body tensing and suddenly, in a matter of seconds, Yuuri jumped off the ice and rotated around himself.

Viktor screamed, the sound of his voice getting thrown back by the wall but all Viktor could do was look at the portal. He could see the startled expression in Yuuri’s eyes and then he reconnected with the ice and fell, almost crashing into the barrier near him. The other two hurried to him, Yuu-chan calling his name.

_ “I’m fine…” Yuuri moaned, his eyes wandering over the area around them in mild confusion, “I thought I heard someone scream.” _

Viktor stepped back, his heart pounding so much he was afraid it could be heard through the portal as well. He heard him, Yuuri  _ heard _ him. Viktor wasn’t sure if the portal was supposed to work both ways like that, painfully realized that he didn’t actually knew anything about how a portal was supposed to work.

He watched the image get foggy again and the voices get lower and lower until they finally disappeared completely together with the portal. Any glow it had given to the room was gone as well and Viktor was left standing in candles’ light, the spot where his portal had been now empty.

Maybe he couldn’t do this all on his own after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! You can also find me on [ on tumblr!](http://chessala.tumblr.com)


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